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A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.While my husband spent most evenings catching up on the horse racing he'd recorded over the weekend, I began perusing chatrooms – not in pursuit of cybersex necessarily, but initially more for harmless flirtation, a little virtual attention.

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Many cybersex abusers are re-enacting aspects of past losses, conflicts or traumas in order to foster illusions of power and love." Some cybersex addicts develop a conditioned response to the computer and become sexually aroused even before turning it on, Dr. This can exacerbate the problem for people whose jobs involve work on a computer.

I was co-hosting a company-sponsored discussion last fall, open to the public, about coping with divorce. The whole affair was online."The man added that his marriage had ended partly because of it — but still, he needed clarification about whether that Internet relationship constituted infidelity. Several people in the audience nodded "yes," followed by a response from our expert on hand, therapist and author Ross Rosenberg, who specializes in treating sex addiction."Cheating is when you are verbally, emotionally or physically intimate with somebody other than your spouse or partner," said Rosenberg, author of "The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us" (PESI Publishing and Media).

A member of the audience shared with the group that he had discovered his wife was involved in a cyber affair."Is that considered cheating? "This can become an affair when there is a relationship ...

The program kept track of all activity on the computer including all e-mails, instant messages, Web sites visited and even every keystroke made from that computer.

Reports were e-mailed to her, and that's how she caught him. I think his words were, 'loose women in our area;' and also foursomes. I started paying a little more attention and made copies of everything that was going on and then I set him up and I pretended I was somebody with a different name and so I was able to have a conversation with him for quite a while that I found out exactly what he was doing, what he was saying."She's now in the middle of a divorce.

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